It's All About Simplicity

So I was at Shea Stadium a couple weeks ago and my seat was broken. The old man who was working as usher decided the best solution was to have my friends sit in their seats and me sit in another section. Clearly this was not an option. I don’t know if you have ever been to Shea, but their ushers are notoriously rude and stupid. I have seen 10 year olds getting yelled at for moving up to the row in front their parents to get one foot closer to the action. Any way, this guy made such a production. He walked us half way around the stadium to his supervisor who just said sit somewhere else. He said, “sit in another section if the people come for those seats, please move.” That made sense! A simple solution. Is it that difficult to be nice?

In pictures, I’m bringing back bunny ears. I just feel like at in your mid twenties that can be randomly funny.

I’m not sexist. Let me say it again, I’m not sexist. However I do think that women are infinitely worse drivers than men. I had a woman cab driver the other day, who was also the nicest cab driver I have ever had. She had lead feet. We went from 0 to speeding in no time then she slammed on the breaks at the last second. She also had no idea where Ludlow and Stanton was. She wasn’t the best driver I have ever had but she was really nice. She took me to see the Methadones at Cake Shop.

Cake Shop might be the best place I have ever been. It’s a venue, a bar, a coffee bar and a vinyl store. So I got to watch the Methadones, then I brought a pint of Guinness upstairs with me and while enjoying it, looked at vinyl. Amazing! Disney World for music guy who enjoys the booze.

After I finished up with the night of Guinness and Cockney Rejects records, I decided to walk home. They haven’t had bands play at Continental in several months now. Why does Trigger sit outside still? What is his job there?

It was fleet week this past week. For those of you who don’t know what that is, its when the sailors all come to New York City dressed in their uniforms for a week of boozing, concertgoing and woman ravaging. They do all of these things well. These guys even the one’s that are flat out dick heads do so well with the ladies this week. Just that Sunday, I walked into a bar to watch the boys from MRNORTH do an acoustic set, when I saw a woman sitting at the bar wearing a sailor hat. Within minutes sure enough I guy in all white comes stumbling out of the bathroom. They eat each other’s faces a little and they went back to her place. So she dug him simply because his uniform. The guy was a dick but I guess what does that have to do with the price of tea in Long Island? God bless America.

This past week I was in LA. Why do people from LA show up every where that’s fun late and everything serious on time? Of course it would be more annoying if the opposite were true but seriously why does this happen? You know the 405 sucks. You know how long it takes to get places but they show up to dinner, concerts, sporting events, etc. late. You can see it. The next time you watch the Dodgers, Lakers or Clippers look at the crowd the first 10 minutes in the game, then look again 45 minutes into the game.

Memo to all bars. Put ice in the urinals. I am a huge supporter of it as it generally keeps the smell of stale beer piss down. Also I have never once to been to a place that has that when a guy comes out and complains. Every guy says, “there is ice in the urinals. I aimed in one spot and watched that shit melt.” Its all about simplicity.