Hello

I’m not really sure where I want to start with this, all I know is that I want to do it. So pardon the strange start because frankly I have no idea what I want to say right now. That’s pretty much going to be what this is. This is going to be just me talking your ear off and you are hopefully listening or reading I guess makes more sense.

Let me tell you a little about me first because well it would be hard for you to tell me about you. This is really one-sided I kinda like it. I’m in my mid twenties, and I live in America’s cesspool also know as Manhattan. If you have ever been here before you know why I call it America’s cesspool. Roaches, rats, mildew, piles of garbage piss and shit on the sidewalks. You smell smells here that I know for a fact are a) not natural and b) your nose was not built to compute those smells. Don’t get me wrong I love New York… its just no Chicago.

One of the most interesting things about me is probably my personal biggest Catch 22. I’m a sensitive and emotional kid, but I am a huge introvert. I have no ability to tell others how I feel.[1] I like to think I am a secure person but I have a fear of being judged on three things. My feelings and emotions, how much money I have or don’t have,[2] and the fact that I always seem to love people more than they love me. This isn’t true about my family. I mean this about friends and girls. I have no idea why this seems to happen but it always does.

Another thing you should know about me if you can’t tell already, I write how I talk. I don’t use big words and metaphors and all that shit. If that’s what your looking for you might as well stop now and go pick up a book.

I realize that this whole thing is probably reading like 16 year old girls MySpace page.[3] Just bare with me this part is almost over. I also live for music. I’m not a musician, but I have held 4 jobs in my life[4] every single one has been in the record business. Even if I grew up a great athlete and some how miraculously make a run at the major leagues, I would have had to have a side job doing something with music, its just too important to me. When I was 10 years old I realized I was never going to be playing second base at Wrigley Field, so I thought that the records was my destiny.[5]

I’m a lot like Rob Gordon from High Fidelity. I know music and girls that I have had relationships better than I know myself. I actually explain myself and my feelings through music all the time as you will begin to see. This is the reason I think music is so important to me. You may be saying, “dude, its chicken or the egg.” I don’t think its chicken or the egg at all. I think the reason that I love music so much is because I let the lyrics and instruments actually get into my heart and my emotions. A sad song makes me sad, a love song makes me love, and angry song makes me angry. For that approximately 4 minutes[6], the band and I are connected.

So back to Rob Gordon for a second. Rob Gordon, was a Chicagoan who was obsessed with music. So much show that he was a DJ at the Double Door[7], owned and ran an indie record store. By the end of the movie he has an indie record label (Top 5 Records). The name of Rob Gordon’s record label is another reason he and I are similar. Rob Gordon and his fellow workers were constantly making top five lists.[8] This is also something that I like to do a lot. If find that a persons musical taste as well as their lists are often telling of their dress and personality. It’s really just a fun game I guess.

The genres of music I like the most are different types of rock[9], hip- hop[10] and r&b. I don’t listen to country or show tunes. I enjoy jazz but we’re talking lyrics here. My musical taste and feelings will be apparent throughout so I don’t really need to get into this too much.
The only thing that I follow almost as nearly as music is sports. I love my Chicago sports. Being the time of the year and the White Sox making the playoffs I promise I will get something about them in here. Any way im going to end this stupid meaningless introduction and start the really point of this.

[1] That is why I decided to do this. I just have so much shit to get off my chest.
[2] This is my true hated topic in life. I hate talking about money more than I hate anything else in the world. People who talk about their own or some else’s money makes me sick.
[3] All that’s missing is some streaming audio of Pussy Cat Dolls- Don’t Cha and a boyfriend application
[4] 3 in the past 18 months… tough business.
[5] Though I just said that not only do I not trust destiny, I don’t believe in it. Everything that seems like its destined to happen, ends up failing for me.
[6] Unless I’m listening to punk than its like approximately 2:45
[7] Fantastic bar/venue of mostly rock bands one of the more famous bars in Chicago
[8] These lists included everything to songs about death to top five track ones
[9] Punk, hard rock, some emo, alt rock, singer song writers really every except really hard metal
[10] Back pack hip hop, some thuggish stuff, I hate dirty south clubby bullshit